New week, new problems. “Your address isn’t in our GPS…” March 26th

Another day, another dollar. Or in this case, another $3.20, one way. As usual, I find myself sitting in the living room, waiting for my entire 30 minute window. As my window comes and goes, I get the call to tell me my driver is there. I gimp to the door, and am a tad surprised to see an empty street. Not a MetroAccess van to be seen! I decide to call WMATA… which was pretty easy, since now they actually have warranted their own speed dial entry on my home phone. I am put on a “brief hold” while Laronda contacts the driver. 10 minutes later, she comes back to tell me that “he’s there.” Well, I appreciate your effort, however no, he’s not. “Are you sure? You don’t see it there?” Ok, now you’re just having a go at me, aren’t you. No, ma’am, I do NOT see it there, which is one of my primary reasons for this call… “Ok, let me put you on hold again.”

So after the second or third hold, and me giving her my address 15 times, she says that she believes he’s on it, and will be there shortly. I hang up, and I’m watching out the window. I see him drive by. And I don’t mean like a little past, I mean just hauling it down the road. Okkkk. I call back. I get Laronda again, thank god. I re-explain my predicament. It is literally like we’ve never had a conversation – ever. She puts me on hold, shock. She comes back and asks me my address again. I not only give her my address, but when she tells me the driver is in the RiteAid parking, I give turn by turn directions for him. Ok, she’s again satisfied that the situation is resolved and that he’s pulling out of the parking lot and will be right there.

I continue to wait by the door, and then watch the driver shoot past again, and where I had said “My apartment is the last building on the right, BEFORE you get to 16th street,” I watch him zip past and take a right ON 16th street. I wait, I see him go back down 16th. I want some more, and see him come back up my street, and take a left into my parking lot. And I wait… Sigh. I call WMATA again, “Laronda,” I say, “It’s me, you’re old buddy Hbomb… So here’s the thing, he is STILL NOT HERE.” She tells me to hold the line while she raises him on the radio. This time, I’m holding the line, but not actually on hold. This distinction is important. I hear the driver explain that my address apparently doesn’t exist, that he is near some other number, on a different street, but near a dumpster, so perhaps the customer could meet him there? So, here is my issue with this. A: I’m a gimp. I’m clearly not good on my feet, and therefor you requesting that I take me, my crutches, and a knee scooter down 8 or so steps to the sidewalk is just obscene. B: I am pretty sure you are supposed to do door to door service. You have ONE JOB, and that is to find my apartment and pick me up. End of story.

So, I cut in and give directions again, from the dumpster. Both the driver and the dispatcher tell me that it’s all sorted out and he’ll be there in two shakes of a lamb’s tail. Cool. So in about 3 min, I see a little guy walking around, with a vest on, just wandering up and down the sidewalk! I call out, and he confirms my identity… He says “well, I’m still parked up there by the dumpster, do you want to come up there with me?” I just stood there, a bit stunned for a second, when he says “or I can just go get the van and drive up here.” Yes, please, the latter would be great.

For what it’s worth, the trip was fine, and the driver was very nice. Also, for what it’s worth a little bit more, this wasn’t the eventful ride of my day. Read about the PM ride, in March 26th, part deux!